"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
