He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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