I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
