Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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