just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
