Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
