Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
3 2 1 whiskey
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
