he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
