Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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