I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
