how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
