I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
