watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You're like the curious george of whores
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think my moral compass just broke
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
