i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
