I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
