guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
