his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
