just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
