"it" just moved
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
