I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
