remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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