You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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