Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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