my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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