he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dicks are not precious.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
