D3 body, D1 cock
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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