the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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