You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
