i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
When are your genitals available?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize