Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
this is an emotional support booty call
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
