I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
