You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
