New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
