these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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