You work out of a Hotel?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
