Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I could make wine with my vomit
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize