haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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