So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
