Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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