stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
