He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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