i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
