It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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