Apparently you make a good broom.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm too high and old for this...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
