Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
