A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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