Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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