I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
