Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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