we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
