He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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