Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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