that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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