i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
