Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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