Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
