I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
