We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
