the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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