are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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