dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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