I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
NoShamevember. You game?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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